Women of Virtue -- Dahlia

I've been excited all week for Friday to arrive so I could finally post this weeks Woman of Virtue interview, and now it's finally here.  Yahh! 

This weeks "Woman of Virtue" is my wonderful friend Dahlia.  Isn't her name beautiful?  

Intro: Dahlia O’Neil loves having an organized kitchen counter (and house for that matter), decorating (in her mind for now), sewing, and hopes to have a big garden someday soon. She is joyfully raising her children in a Christ-centered home in a small, coastal town.  She recently moved to Valdez, AK with her husband and 4 children and is grateful to have been pregnant or nursing since 2004.

 

 

   1. How do you think the world's views of womanhood are different from Gods?

Oh how different they are!  My husband was once told by a female co-worker that it was shameful that I was (according to her) wasting my college education by staying home with the children.  The world says women should be providers; physically objectified; that we are unequal to men; and that motherhood is a dull, worthless activity.  God’s views are completely opposite! In The Family: Proclamation to the World, it states, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.”  I am so grateful that I choose to follow God’s view because it is truly the most rewarding.

2. How do you counter those world views in your own home.

 I want my children to know that it’s OK to want to be a mom or dad.  When you ask my son what he wants to be, he says “a daddy” and more recently “a grandpa”.  In a time where men’s hearts are growing cold, my kids look to me and learn how to nurture, as they in turn help nurture the baby, Amelia.  They are gentle in word and action towards her and truly care about her comfort and happiness.  

I teach them from a young age about modesty in dress and actions.  I have control of what comes into our home:  clothes, media (TV & computer), toys, friends, reading material, etc.  I think that by setting appropriate boundaries when the kids are young, those boundaries will carry over into their years as youth and will continue to guide them. 

I love to take the time out from the daily chore routine to do crafts with the kids.  As we create, it allows them a comfortable setting to ask questions or talk about what’s on their minds.  We’ve discussed morals such as being honest, loving, faithful, and keeping our bodies pure by not smoking, drinking, etc.  These candid conversations will hopefully keep them close to us and know we’re there to listen and counsel with them. 

If you ask my children where they came from, they’ll answer “heaven”.  I know that since my children know that they are a precious daughter or a son of God, it’ll be that much easier for them to have their end goal be that of pleasing God, not man.  Self-esteem comes from knowing we are children of God, who loves us more than we can comprehend.

3. What do you want your daughters to know about being righteous women?

I want them to know that they will be bombarded by the world with awful examples and influences, but that they can always have a refuge at home.  I want them to know that as they keep the commandments and stay pure and clean, they will be truly happy; that they will have true joy.  I want them to know that choosing to be a righteous woman is exactly that, a choice, and that they have the power to choose the right.  I want my daughters to know that the Lord is on their side and they simply need to turn to Him in prayer when things get difficult.  The world can be a dark and vain place, and it’s only going to get worse as Satan continues in his effort to thwart God’s plan.  I want them to be armed with righteousness!

4. As a busy mom of 4 young children how do you maintain a strong relationship with your husband?

It’s so easy to get frustrated and worn-out during the day, so I try to not let that come pouring out when he gets home from work.  Now, I did say “try” – it doesn’t always work like that, but that’s where apologies come in.  Humility, prayer, repentance and forgiveness are all necessary to keep our marriage happy and healthy.

99% of our date nights are usually time spent at home after the kids are in bed. I feel bad about leaving 4 kids with someone to go out on a date, unless they were with my mom.  Maybe I’ll have to get over that.  Making treats and watching a movie (or even the news!) is a good time to be close.  That mommy/daddy time is important enough that the kids are in bed on time.  The time spent together with my best friend (my husband) refreshes me and helps us grow even closer.

5. How does your relationship with God help you as a wife?  A mother?

As I draw close to my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ, I have peace in my daily life.  That doesn’t mean I lack challenges, but that I have the strength to overcome and grow from them.  When I put God first, the joy I feel carries over to my relationship with my sweet husband.  I want to serve more.  I want to be more loving.  I want to create a peaceful home.  All these wants are fulfilled as I nurture my relationship with Heavenly Father.

I’ve been reading an amazing book, “What the Scriptures Teach Us About Raising a Child” by S. Michael Wilcox.  He says that as we go to the Lord and ask Him to “teach us what we shall do” with each child, we will receive direction.  Each child is distinct and each one is His child too.  So why wouldn’t God want to help us out?  This is not a new thought for me, but definitely so true.  As we pray for direction, we will receive it.  We will hear the whisperings of the Spirit and learn that our child is cranky because teeth are coming and how to help, for example.  I know that prayer is a key to unlock the door to having joy in motherhood.

     6. Who has been an example to you as a righteous woman and why?

Two ladies immediately come to mind.  Maria S. and Sue H.  I met Maria while attending church in North Pole and she has always been an example to me of true beauty and peace.  I never knew her to raise her voice or discipline her children with anger.  I want to speak softly to my loved ones, just like Maria.  I know Sue through church as well.  She was involved with her children at school (who are now all grown), has quite an extensive knowledge of the scriptures, and is always smiling and uplifting others.  These women are without guile.  I have many dear friends who are also amazing examples to me of being a righteous woman. 

7.  What is your favorite scripture (or one of your favorite) and why?

While we lived in Kansas for two years, we were close to Latter-day Saint historical sites in Missouri.  One was Liberty Jail, where the prophet Joseph Smith and others were held there for fictional crimes.  During his awful circumstance, he received revelation from the Lord that has always helped me to feel uplifted when feeling down: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a l small moment;  And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”

 Doctrine & Covenants 121:7-8. 

Enduring doesn’t mean suffering through something, but instead, we should be firmly rooted in Christ while diligently trying to improve ourselves and become like Him.

Thanks, Dahlia

A little more about Dahlia--I met Dahlia when we moved into our house.  Her husband was the elders quorum president in our ward at the time, and they both welcomed us into the ward and made us feel right at home.  Dahlia is a great wife and mother, and I think it is neat that I would describe her in the much the same way she describes the women that she admires above.  She is kind and loving and is a great example to me of true Christlike charity.  

 This has been so fun for me.  I am learning so much and you're all inspiring me to be better.