He Said / She Said First Date Memories

Today is the 8th year anniversary of our first date! Wow, how my life has changed since that day! 

 And, it's all been wonderful.

Here are a few things we each remember about that day:

The Basic Details

She said:  For our date I picked Shawn up from his friends' house.  We went to dinner, to temple square to see the lights, then we went and got hot chocolate across the street at the mall.  When I went to drop him off he was locked out of his friends' apartment.  They had all gone to a movie and forgotten about him.  I couldn't let him freeze to death so we sat and talked in the car until it was time for me to go pick up my kids.  He went with me to get the kids and met my ex. (that was a bit nerve racking)  Then we picked up some fast food for the kids.  Meanwhile his friends had come home, and then I dropped him back off at his friends' house.  

He said:  This hottie picked me up, and drove us to dinner, at Rodizio's Brizillian Restaurant where they serve lots of meat, and I remember thinking, "I hope she's not a vegetarian."  After that she said, "Have you ever seen the lights at Temple Square?" I had not so she said, "Let's go,"  and so we did. It was pretty cool.  Then we went and had hot chocolate.  When she went to drop me off at my friends', they had locked me out of their apartment.  We tried to call them several times, but they would not answer because they were at the movies.  Then she said she needed to pick up her kids.  She asked me if I wanted to come along, because she didn't want to leave me on the street.  How thoughtful.   Logan was asleep, and the other 2 were watching cartoons.  We rounded up the kids, and kids being kids with bottomless stomachs, they were hungry so we went and got them something to eat.  This gave us more time to talk before my friends finally called, and said that I could come home now.  

What were your thoughts before our date?

She said:  I was nervous but excited.  He seemed really nice on the phone and in our emails so, even though we were meeting for the first time I wasn't too nervous.  
He said:  I was looking forward to it, because she was the most normal, down-to-earth person that I had talked to in a long time.  

Your first impressions?
She said:  I was relieved that he didn't have any crazy tattoos or piercings.  I thought he was really nice looking and looked even better than his picture.  
He said:  I remember thinking that she's a lot prettier in person. 

What did we talk about that night?
She said:  At dinner,I remember talking about school, and I remember Shawn talking about work.  I remember thinking that he sounded like he really enjoyed being a heavy equipment operator and he sounded like a hard worker.  Later I remember talking about old relationships, dating, family, and dreams for the future.  
He said:  We talked about everything!  We talked about everything from church, to missions, to kids, motorcycle wrecks, ex relationships, LDS Singles, dating, school, the future.  We covered it!

What do you remember most about that night?
She said:  I remember that when we were at Temple Square, we were waiting in line to go into a movie and there was a cute little girl in line with her family behind us.  She was Latino and speaking Spanish to her parents,  I remember Shawn kneeling down and talking to her in spanish. From the way he talked to her I could tell that he liked kids.  That made a big impression on me.
The other thing that I really remember about that night is that when we went to pick up the kids Logan was asleep on the couch.  Shawn just picked him up and carried him to the car for me.  I didn't ask him too, but I remember how touched I was by that. 
He said:  How beautiful she was, and thinking, "What's a girl like this doing being single."  And if they hadn't of locked me out who knows what would have happened.  That extra time to talk gave me more of a chance to see that down-to-earth reality of who Kim was at that time in her life. It is easy for a person to put on a show and be someone they are not when you don't have any one else around but when we went to get the kids I got to see that she really was genuine in both situations, there was no mask to put on or take off . I admired that. 

Favorite part?
She said:  The whole thing.  I enjoyed our whole date.  There wasn't any awkward times or any uncomfortableness.  He was easy to talk to and I enjoyed being with him. 
He said:  Getting locked out.  It gave me more time to get to know her , and dinner, because I like meat.  Ha, Ha Ha.  Temple square was pretty cool, too.

Feelings and/or thoughts after
She said:  He was very nice and genuine.  He didn't play games.  I could tell that he was comfortable with himself, and he knew what he wanted out of life.  I thought he was a true gentleman and  it was easy to see that he was someone that lived his religion.  I was glad when he called me the next day.
He said:  Sure would be nice to see her again. 

What else do you remember about that night?
 She said:  I was glad that he got locked out and we had that extra time to spend together.  I think it was part of God's plan.  Because he was locked out we got to spend more time talking and really getting to know each other.  I think he also needed to go to my ex's so he could see my complete life, and  I needed to see how he could/would handle that part of my life.  
Obviously he did very well.  
He said:  I already covered everything.  Oh, I remember, Travis laughing that they locked me out.

Would you have said or done anything differently that night?
She said:  No, I snagged him didn't I.
He said:  Obviously not, it worked.  I married up!

She said:

Thanks, for the good memories sweetie. 

That was the beginning of a wonderful life together.  

I love you!

Family Roles

A friend shared this article with me and it was so good that I thought I would share it here in it's entirety.

Family Roles

by: Oliver DeMille Monday, December 12th, 2011

By Oliver DeMille

Nothing will have more impact on the future of the world than the future of families.

This truism is sobering as we watch the decline of the family.

As we consider the industrialized world, it is disturbing to note that even amongst those who espouse, promote and live a strong family lifestyle, some of the most basic roles have been lost.

For example, consider the following from an editorial by John Rosemond:

“A journalist recently asked me to name the number one problem facing today’s family. I think she expected me to address education, the economy, or some other “hot” topic. To her surprise, I said, ‘A confusion of roles.’

“In today’s parenting universe, married women with children think of themselves first and foremost as mothers. This is confusion. If you are married with children, you are first and foremost a wife or a husband. In your wedding vows, you did not say, “I take you to be my (husband, wife) until children do us part.” Those vows, many generations old, read the way they do for a reason.

“I’ve been telling recent audiences that parenting has become bad for the mental health of women. Today’s all-too typical mother believes that whether her child experiences success or failure in whatever realm is completely up to her. If she is sufficiently attentive to her child’s needs and sufficiently proactive in his life, he will succeed. If not, he will have problems. The natural consequence of this state of over-focus is anxiety, self-doubt, and guilt.”

Marriage is the central relationship of society, and in society, no roles are more important than husband and wife.

As I talk to young people about their plans for life, career is usually the first thing they mention.

Once in a while, a young man will mention that his main goal is to be a good father, and a little more frequently a young woman will say that she really wants to be a great mother.

But I’ve never heard the following: “I want to be a great wife,” or “my most important goal is to be a great husband.”

This is a concern. In a way, feminism has had moved society by persuading our generation to focus on parenthood even more than marriage.

I’m convinced that most people who say they want to be great parents just assume marriage as part of it. But that’s the problem. Just assuming marriage isn’t enough. It reflects a lack of emphasis on our primary roles.

The future of the world certainly depends on the quality of fathering and mothering in the twenty-first century.

The quality of marriages is even more important. The state of the world ten, twenty, even seventy years from now will be determined by the depth and quality of our marriage relationships. Parenting will largely be determined by the level of success our marriages attain.

The recent politicization of the institution of marriage raises concerns in the minds of virtually everyone, no matter where they stand on the issue.

Of most concern to me is that 64% of married women and 82% of married men responded to a survey in the early 2000′s that they had been unfaithful to their marriage vows.

I see no greater threat to the institution of marriage than the tepid level of commitment of the spouses, and the way they characterize and fulfill their roles.

Marriage is hard work, worthy work–the work of a lifetime. If there is one thing we should teach our youth, it is the value of building a great marriage.

More precisely, we need to teach—by precept and example whenever possible—that “wife” and “husband” are vital roles to society, requiring preparation, consideration, emphasis and great effort.

Once married, these must always be the primary roles of each individual—not secondary to career, social endeavors, or even parenthood.

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Oliver DeMille is the founder and former president of George Wythe University, a co-founder of the Center for Social Leadership, and a co-creator of TJEd Online.

He is the author of A Thomas Jefferson Education: Teaching a Generation of Leaders for the 21st Century, and The Coming Aristocracy: Education & the Future of Freedom.

Oliver is dedicated to promoting freedom through leadership education. He and his wife Rachel are raising their eight children in Cedar City, Utah.