
She's really gone this time, for good, I think. I said she could go on the condition she found a replacement for herself, but she didn't so I guess I am left to find a new BFF on my own. Here goes:
Wanted: New BFF. Must be willing to workout 3-5 days a week at 6:00 a.m., walking in summer and working out at your house in the winter. Must have enough workout equipment for the both of us to use at the same time. Must have house clean each morning when I arrive(it is okay to fold clothes while we talk after we work out) and a fire blazing in the wood burning stove so that your house is nice and toasty warm when I arrive. Must be willing to get out of bed and get dressed and wait for me to come workout even when I don't feel like working out. You must not get mad that I usually won't call you and say I'm not coming because I am cozy in bed and too tired to call. While working out you must discuss homeschooling, religion, children, husbands, housework, cooking, dieting, literature, world news and problems, crafts, the weather and anything else I want to talk about. You must give me encouragement and make me feel like I am not a failure as a mother, but that I am actually doing okay. On mornings when I am just to wimpy to workout, you must say that is okay and then just sit and chat with me. Sometimes your husband will be required to offer me some of his breakfast, i.e. scrambled eggs, toast and juice or offer to make me breakfast.
You must be willing to get super involved with Leadership Education. You will be required to host seminars in Anchorage that will require you to put in endless hours on the phone, and computer. You will even have to make up the pay difference if you don't have enough people sign up for the seminar. You will be required to host many, many, book clubs at your house. This requires reading each book, coming up with discussion questions, having a clean house, and providing delightful refreshments all this while being extremely cheerful and fun to be with. You must be willing to build a tjed community by talking to all your friends and neighbors about tjed and get them and all of your family members to start using tjed in their homes. Because you are super excited about tjed you will host a math club for your child and 3 of your child's friends 3 days a week. You must make math seem fun and exciting and like everyone can not only do math but also enjoy doing math.
You must have boys around my son's ages, at least one needs to be obsessed with Star Wars so that they can play light sabers and star wars stuff together. At least one of your children will need to participate in the same sport as my daughter so that we can car pool. I am getting so sick of driving both ways.
Your husband needs to be super handy at doing household projects. He will be required to come to my house to do various projects and to teach my husband how to do all of the projects that I want done, specifically how to tear out walls and how to put in new french doors.
You must have relatively the same taste in movies and books as me, and let me borrow your books and keep them for extremely long periods of time (that reminds me, Amy I still have your How to Read a Book pamphlet) . You must be willing to receive phone calls from me at all hours of the day and possibly night, whenever I just want to chat. Be warned that if you don't answer your phone I may leave weird messages on your answering machine. You must hug and kiss my baby and tell me how cute my other girls are. You must be ready to babysit at a moments notice, and babysit at my house even though you have allergies and the house is filling up with smoke and you can't breath. You must host Halloween parties and park outings, make cookies and mini cupcakes, share a blog with me, look cute all of the time, be friendly to everyone, teach my daughter to make necklaces like you make, and never complain about my messy house. Above all you will need to be a good example to me in all that you say and do just like my last BFF.
Please reply to this message soon. I am missing my BFF already.
Here's to you Amy. I think you are irreplaceable. Thanks for being my BFF.